In Thought

I have had an awful lot on my mind lately and I’m sure many of you know what I’m talking about… the recent passing of my father has left me and my family in a state of grief over the past three weeks and for the unforeseeable future, and is something I do not wish to discuss in great detail at this moment.

But what I will say is that I’m learning something about grief ~ it is something a few have told me so far which I’ve now found true, which is that it comes and goes in waves… sometimes I feel completely normal, and sometimes I feel completely depressed. Sometimes I’ll go a full day feeling like my regular self going about a regular day, and some days I struggle to make it through. What I’m not going to do is force my grief to stay in because, as I’ve quickly found out from my friends, that everyone understands what I’m going through and not one person has made me feel bad for showing my feelings, and for that I’m grateful.

#1

#2

The priest at the funeral – a longtime family friend I’ve known since high school – had mentioned something during his eulogy as well as to me personally. That no matter what happens in life, you are the one to make the best out of your life. My father survived polio and his life could have gone a different way, but it didn’t. He fought through it and made a successful life for himself. He may be gone, and I may be struggling through his absence right now, but I’m going to keep going, keep struggling through it, and continue pushing forward. I’m going to continue to be me, and continue working on making a life for myself, and live my best life.

#3
#4
#5

I’d like to end this post with a request… I’ve numbered all the pictures in this post for a reason. I’ve been wanting to start a painting project and finally have the canvas for it, and with my recent interest in waves, I’m trying to take pictures that may inspire me to paint. Anyway, I’m picking from this group of photographs, and would love your input. If you would like to share your thoughts, please leave a comment with the number picture you like best, and I’ll paint that one.

Until next time,

Heather

13 thoughts on “In Thought

  1. First, I saw this on FB and I wish to express my condolences to you and your family. A real pillar to the Mackinac Island community, he will be missed by all. My husband and I are planning on returning to the island next year and I intended on paying my respects.

    I choose photo #2, I love the many shades of blue in the photo. Have a good day Heather, you are in my prayers. Laurie

  2. Heather,Your recent letter to all of us really touched my heart.I recently lost my father too.I never thought that at my age, having lived now 65 years,that I could fall apart as I have. Your sharing of your feelings the way you have restores my faith that there are people who truly feel loss,as I do.May God Bless you with comfort and bless you with the strength knowing that your Daddy is right behind you,all the rest of your years.Respectfully,R.Mark Wearing-Detroit

  3. Gail Kalnajs

    Heather,
    Grief is different for all of us. Although life has changed forever, time heals. My love & thoughts are with you. ♡
    I choose #3
    Take care of yourself.
    Gail

  4. I love #1. Thanks for sharing your heart. My father has also passed away, and you captured the feelings perfectly when you said one day can go along like a regular day, and another day can be a struggle the entire day.
    Kem

  5. Mark

    So sorry for your loss. Having lost both parents decades ago, my dad when I was just 17, I can tell you that it is true that time really does heal all wounds. We will always love and miss them but the pain from the loss gets a little less each day.

    I choose #5. While the contrast of the land and water is one reason, the biggest reason is that it is timeless (just like the Island). It is the only one without a man-made element.
    ~Mark

  6. Very sorry for your loss. My parents are in their mid 80s and I think about what life will be like without them all the time. My Dad is my best friend and will be a difficult time for sure.
    I would choose #4. Beautiful picture.

  7. Karen from Niles

    I saw the news about your father in the Town Crier and I’m so sorry. I understand what you mean about grief. I lost my husband just over a year ago (we were married on the island many years ago) and the first year was a struggle to say the least. Just a couple bits of advice from someone who just went through this, let yourself grieve, as it’s normal. You will have to find a “new normal” and that takes time and know in your heart that your father would want you to continue on and be happy. It’s hard for sure, but you can get through it. It does take time so hang in there. P.S. I like #1

  8. Claudia

    Dear Heather,
    Thank you for sharing your story and your photos with us. Like the waves, grief ebbs and flows. As you know, some days are calm and peaceful and other days grief explodes like waves crashing on the shore. Although it sounds trite, I am sure that your father is resting in the arms of our loving God. Rest in peace, Mr. May.

    Regarding the photos, I am partial to #4; the dark choppiness of the water against the calm beauty of the sky is stunning.

    ~Claudia

  9. Dianne Schlegel

    Dear Heather,
    I’m so sorry for your loss… it sounds like a cliche, but time does soften the blow.
    My father been gone for 15 years, and I now remember all the happy times… it doesn’t hurt so much anymore… time has healed my heart, but I will always miss him.
    Sending prayers to you and your family.
    Regarding the photo, I choose #5, as the bike road around the island is my favorite part of Mackinac Island.
    So beautiful.

  10. Elouise

    Time heals…but you will always miss your father. I still miss my mother and it has been nearly 9 years. But you will remember the good times and his love for you. Take care and God Bless.

    I picked picture #4. I love the colors. Whatever picture you pick will be great…They are all beautiful.

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